1 00:00:02,023 --> 00:00:03,991 - Hi, Har. Hi. 2 00:00:04,159 --> 00:00:05,683 Hi, judge. 3 00:00:08,229 --> 00:00:09,753 Harry, what are you doing? 4 00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:12,195 Trying to read that headline from across the room. 5 00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:14,335 Having a little trouble with my eyes. 6 00:00:14,502 --> 00:00:19,201 "Woman claims man from Jupiter fathered her child." 7 00:00:19,374 --> 00:00:20,671 I don't see any problem. 8 00:00:20,842 --> 00:00:24,676 Yeah? Wait till she tries to collect child support. 9 00:00:24,846 --> 00:00:27,314 I mean Harry's eyesight seems okay. 10 00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,575 I've been getting headaches when I read a lot. 11 00:00:29,751 --> 00:00:33,619 That's eyestrain. You really should go to the doctor and have your eyes checked out. 12 00:00:33,788 --> 00:00:36,814 Really? Most doctors can check them while they're still in. 13 00:00:37,392 --> 00:00:39,917 - Harry. - Get it? While they're still in. 14 00:00:41,596 --> 00:00:44,497 Okay, okay. Fine. You know, just make light of it. 15 00:00:44,666 --> 00:00:45,826 I hate to wolf and run... 16 00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,799 ...but I've got an appointment with an eye doctor. 17 00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:50,699 I knew you'd insist. 18 00:00:52,607 --> 00:00:56,634 Sir? Sir? I need you to sign some papers here right away. 19 00:00:56,811 --> 00:01:02,340 - Hi, Mac. - Here, here and both places on this one. 20 00:01:02,517 --> 00:01:05,748 - Just fine, thanks. And you? - Oh, boffo, sir. Now, here's your pen. 21 00:01:06,454 --> 00:01:09,252 Well, that's enough chitchat for one day, I suppose. 22 00:01:09,424 --> 00:01:10,516 What is this stuff, man? 23 00:01:10,692 --> 00:01:13,252 Oh, it's the usual red tape in duplicate and triplicate. 24 00:01:13,428 --> 00:01:15,521 - Then it can wait. - Oh, no way, Jack. 25 00:01:15,764 --> 00:01:16,822 Uh... 26 00:01:16,998 --> 00:01:19,159 I mean, uh, no way, Your Honor. 27 00:01:19,334 --> 00:01:21,825 The last time I signed something without reading it... 28 00:01:22,003 --> 00:01:24,870 ...I ended up buying three years' worth of carpet cleaning. 29 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,702 - But, sir... - I have hardwood floors, Mac. 30 00:01:27,876 --> 00:01:31,539 Sir, all it is is a declaration of financial non-liability... 31 00:01:31,713 --> 00:01:34,204 ...and some kind of a form loyalty oath. 32 00:01:34,382 --> 00:01:35,713 - For you? - No, no, for her. 33 00:01:35,884 --> 00:01:37,784 Oh, I'm sorry, this is Quon Le Duc. 34 00:01:37,952 --> 00:01:39,317 - Hi. - Hi. 35 00:01:39,487 --> 00:01:43,480 - And this is Judge Stone. - The crazy one you told me about? 36 00:01:44,993 --> 00:01:49,828 Uh... A little language barrier, sir. You see, Quon Le is from Vietnam. 37 00:01:49,998 --> 00:01:52,330 - I like your dress. - Oh, thanks. 38 00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:56,795 It's your basic black. You know, no problem getting accessories or anything. 39 00:01:56,971 --> 00:01:59,371 Sir, if you don't mind, we need these papers signed. 40 00:01:59,541 --> 00:02:02,408 The folks in lmmigration are determined to bounce her out... 41 00:02:02,577 --> 00:02:05,740 ...unless I'm able to get our paperwork squared away by midnight. 42 00:02:05,914 --> 00:02:09,509 Midnight? Mac, this is a little sticky. I mean, I don't even know the woman. 43 00:02:09,684 --> 00:02:12,744 I'll vouch for her, sir. I knew her family when I was back in Nam. 44 00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:15,253 And you'll vouch that everything in there is true? 45 00:02:15,423 --> 00:02:17,357 On my mother's grave, sir. 46 00:02:17,859 --> 00:02:20,020 Your mother's still alive, Mac. 47 00:02:21,529 --> 00:02:24,396 Isn't that wonderful, sir? 48 00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:27,729 I don't think I wanna hear any more. 49 00:02:27,902 --> 00:02:32,805 Oh, thank you, Your Honor. You know, you are a real humanitarian. 50 00:02:32,974 --> 00:02:34,874 Yeah, that's what the carpet salesman said too. 51 00:02:36,778 --> 00:02:38,370 Come on, let's go. 52 00:02:40,081 --> 00:02:41,105 Mac, got a second? 53 00:02:41,282 --> 00:02:44,012 - No, no. - Come on. I just wanna ask you a question. 54 00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:48,554 - Where have you been hiding this one? - She's Quon Le Duc. She's from Vietnam. 55 00:02:48,723 --> 00:02:51,021 Vietnam? Hi, I'm Dan Fielding... 56 00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:54,753 ...very possibly the next president of the United States. 57 00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:59,464 Oh, yes, Dan Fielding, the animal painter. 58 00:03:00,435 --> 00:03:01,663 Animal painter? 59 00:03:01,836 --> 00:03:05,897 Mac says you're the best bull artist in the city. 60 00:03:07,809 --> 00:03:11,836 - He's too kind. - We gotta run. Bye. 61 00:03:16,151 --> 00:03:18,881 - Hey, who's that girl? - Friend of Mac's. She's cute, huh? 62 00:03:19,053 --> 00:03:22,511 She has a cute name too: Quon Le Duc. 63 00:03:27,662 --> 00:03:31,029 Where I come from, "Duc" is a boy's name. 64 00:04:14,242 --> 00:04:16,802 Uh-huh. Yeah. 65 00:04:16,978 --> 00:04:21,210 No, no. The name is Quon Le Duc. 66 00:04:21,382 --> 00:04:24,977 No, no. No K, just D-U-C. Yes. Right. 67 00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:28,088 I know that the senator would wanna do all he can to help out... 68 00:04:28,256 --> 00:04:31,225 ...since I'm a major contributor to his campaign. 69 00:04:31,392 --> 00:04:34,293 Yes, this is Mr. Xerox speaking. 70 00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:37,520 Hello. 71 00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:42,999 - Harry not back from the eye doctor, huh? - Nope. 72 00:04:43,171 --> 00:04:46,299 The crowd is abuzz with anticipation. 73 00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:49,040 That's wheezing. 74 00:04:50,144 --> 00:04:51,543 Of course, I don't blame them. 75 00:04:51,713 --> 00:04:54,841 I still get butterflies at the opening of every session. 76 00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:57,381 In your stomach? 77 00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,286 Sure. Where else would they be? 78 00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:07,322 Showtime. 79 00:05:08,029 --> 00:05:09,894 All rise. 80 00:05:16,404 --> 00:05:18,269 Thanks, Bull. 81 00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:31,018 - Your Honor, everything okay? - Oh, fine. 82 00:05:31,185 --> 00:05:33,813 Why don't you fellas come around to the front? 83 00:05:36,691 --> 00:05:39,455 Or that would be another solution. 84 00:05:40,228 --> 00:05:43,322 - What's the matter with your eyes? - Nothing. Just a routine exam. 85 00:05:43,498 --> 00:05:46,023 Doctor put a few drops in my eyes to relax the muscles. 86 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,795 It's a common procedure. The effects should wear off in a couple of hours. 87 00:05:49,971 --> 00:05:54,169 Oh, a couple of hours? Well, great. Maybe we should call a recess until, say, oh... 88 00:05:54,342 --> 00:05:55,366 ...midnight. 89 00:05:55,543 --> 00:05:58,944 Mac, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm gonna be just fine. 90 00:05:59,113 --> 00:06:01,013 Now, I know you have a lot on your mind... 91 00:06:01,182 --> 00:06:04,879 ...but I really think the best thing is just to call the first case. 92 00:06:05,053 --> 00:06:08,022 Eugene Sleighbough, attempted burglary. 93 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:09,952 The people acknowledge... 94 00:06:10,124 --> 00:06:13,924 ...that there may be a special circumstance where Mr. Sleighbough is concerned. 95 00:06:14,095 --> 00:06:17,258 - Special in what way? - I'm invisible. 96 00:06:20,635 --> 00:06:22,830 Who said that? 97 00:06:23,705 --> 00:06:25,502 See what I mean? 98 00:06:25,673 --> 00:06:27,538 Your Honor, that was my client speaking. 99 00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:30,177 He believes that he's invisible to other humans. 100 00:06:30,345 --> 00:06:33,678 - Is that so, Mr. Sleighbough? - You can't see me, can you? 101 00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:35,440 Oh, well, certainly I can. 102 00:06:35,817 --> 00:06:40,345 Oh. Okay. How many fingers am I holding up? 103 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:44,750 There better not be just one. 104 00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:49,223 - Hello. - Was that a phone? 105 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:53,264 Amazing how the other senses take over, isn't it? 106 00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:56,597 Yeah. Well, I understand. Mm-hm. 107 00:06:57,872 --> 00:07:02,036 - Mac, we are trying to conduct a trial here. - Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but it's about Quon Le. 108 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:05,611 I got some people working on the problem, and I'm just about out of time. 109 00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:09,113 Mac, I sympathize. Really, I do. 110 00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:12,275 But I'm gonna have to ask you to silence the bell on that phone. 111 00:07:12,453 --> 00:07:16,116 If I turn off the bell, how am I gonna know when important calls are coming in? 112 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,087 You'll think of something. 113 00:07:18,259 --> 00:07:19,851 Yes, sir. 114 00:07:25,099 --> 00:07:29,229 - Now, to the matter at hand. - Hello. 115 00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,739 Well, rather than wasting time reading all this... 116 00:07:34,909 --> 00:07:39,403 ...perhaps the prosecutor could summarize the proceeding. 117 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,275 Hello. 118 00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:43,917 Mac, cease and desist. 119 00:07:44,419 --> 00:07:46,512 - Yes, sir. Mr. Prosecutor. 120 00:07:46,687 --> 00:07:48,450 Yes, Your Honor, it seems as though... 121 00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:51,683 ...that Mr. Sleighbough tried to take advantage of his condition... 122 00:07:51,859 --> 00:07:55,351 ...by robbing a fifth-story apartment in the middle of the afternoon. 123 00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:57,293 Yeah. It's perfect for me. 124 00:07:57,465 --> 00:08:00,059 See, I can slip in and out completely unnoticed. 125 00:08:00,234 --> 00:08:04,364 Except for the several hundred people who saw you inching along the ledge. 126 00:08:04,572 --> 00:08:06,472 Ah. That was probably a fluke. 127 00:08:06,641 --> 00:08:09,474 See, they probably used some kind of heat-sensing device. 128 00:08:09,644 --> 00:08:13,171 Yes. It's called sunlight. 129 00:08:13,347 --> 00:08:17,306 Your Honor, if I may, it seems to me th... 130 00:08:17,552 --> 00:08:21,545 My client is having a little problem with reality. Don't! 131 00:08:21,722 --> 00:08:24,156 Mr. Sleighbough, when did you first discover... 132 00:08:24,325 --> 00:08:28,785 ...you had this talent to become invisible? - Well, it came on sort of gradual. 133 00:08:29,397 --> 00:08:34,266 See, at first, I was just boring, but then I became inconspicuous. 134 00:08:34,435 --> 00:08:36,767 - Oh. - I'd be waiting in a doctor's office... 135 00:08:36,938 --> 00:08:40,806 ...or a restaurant or a barbershop, you know, whatever, and, finally, they'd say: 136 00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:42,704 "Oh, I didn't see you there." 137 00:08:42,877 --> 00:08:45,505 That's when it first began to take hold. 138 00:08:45,913 --> 00:08:48,575 - And now? - I'm fully invisible. 139 00:08:48,749 --> 00:08:51,479 I can be standing on a corner yelling and waving my arms... 140 00:08:51,652 --> 00:08:54,780 ...cabbies, they go right by, never even notice me. 141 00:08:54,956 --> 00:08:57,220 In New York City, imagine that. 142 00:08:57,391 --> 00:08:59,450 Miss Young, does your client have any priors? 143 00:08:59,627 --> 00:09:02,619 No, Your Honor, but it's right there in the arresting officer's report. 144 00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:06,358 Ah. Yes, which I should have here. 145 00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:09,769 - Mac? - He's not at his desk, Your Honor. 146 00:09:09,937 --> 00:09:14,271 - Well, where is he? - I'll go out on a limb and say elsewhere. 147 00:09:14,442 --> 00:09:15,739 Someone go out and find him. 148 00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:18,003 A fella can't disappear whenever he wants to. 149 00:09:18,179 --> 00:09:19,840 You wanna bet? 150 00:09:20,014 --> 00:09:22,141 Other than you, Mr. Sleighbough. 151 00:09:22,316 --> 00:09:26,218 Would the attorneys approach the bench for a little huddle, please? 152 00:09:30,958 --> 00:09:32,391 Ooh. 153 00:09:36,297 --> 00:09:40,165 If there's no objection, I'm gonna hold this one over for a psychiatric evaluation. 154 00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:43,303 - Mr. Prosecutor? - The house of gaga it is, Your Honor. 155 00:09:43,471 --> 00:09:44,699 All right, then. 156 00:09:45,473 --> 00:09:47,270 - You looking for me, sir? Mac? 157 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:50,035 To your right, 3 o'clock high. 158 00:09:51,045 --> 00:09:54,310 Mac, I think you owe this court an explanation. Why did you leave? 159 00:09:54,482 --> 00:09:55,676 I had to, sir. 160 00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:58,148 - Well, where did you go? Oh. - Down the hall. 161 00:09:58,319 --> 00:10:01,288 - To Judge Cramer's office. - Oh? 162 00:10:01,956 --> 00:10:03,617 I got married. 163 00:10:04,759 --> 00:10:05,817 Oh. 164 00:10:05,993 --> 00:10:07,017 Married? 165 00:10:07,194 --> 00:10:08,957 - Uh-huh. - To Quon Le? 166 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,121 - Uh-huh. - Just now? 167 00:10:11,299 --> 00:10:12,926 Uh-huh. 168 00:10:13,334 --> 00:10:17,361 - Mac, I don't know what to say. - Well, I do. 169 00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:24,008 What are you, nuts? 170 00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:29,377 So... 171 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:32,485 So you're married, you old son of a gun. 172 00:10:35,756 --> 00:10:40,056 - Never thought I'd see the day. - Yeah, me neither. Ha, ha. 173 00:10:40,394 --> 00:10:43,625 I screwed up bad, Harry. 174 00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,665 Kind of overwhelmed by the sentiment, are you? 175 00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:48,267 But, Harry, I was desperate. 176 00:10:48,436 --> 00:10:50,904 Her paperwork wasn't gonna clear until Wednesday... 177 00:10:51,072 --> 00:10:53,131 ...and she didn't have until Wednesday. 178 00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:56,376 Ah. So you just married her so she could stay. 179 00:10:56,544 --> 00:10:58,842 Well, of course. But Quon Le doesn't know that. 180 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,413 - Whew. I smell a merry little mix-up here. - It happened so fast... 181 00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:06,713 ...she didn't know what the hell was going on. She thinks I did it because I loved her. 182 00:11:07,555 --> 00:11:10,149 What was she thinking? 183 00:11:10,324 --> 00:11:13,350 - I don't know. - Where is she now? 184 00:11:13,527 --> 00:11:16,462 Out in the hall, worshipping the ground I walk on. 185 00:11:16,864 --> 00:11:19,731 - You are gonna straighten this out with her? - Well, of course. 186 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:24,496 - Now? - Oh, sir, on her wedding day? 187 00:11:30,878 --> 00:11:32,709 Is something the matter? 188 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,680 What's the matter, man? A little wedding-night pressure? 189 00:11:36,851 --> 00:11:38,113 - Dan... - Now, listen, listen. 190 00:11:38,285 --> 00:11:40,480 There's no reason to go for the gold right away. 191 00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:45,115 Relax. Think bronze. 192 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,153 Oh, Mac. Mac, this is the happiest day of my life. 193 00:11:50,564 --> 00:11:54,364 They don't get any better, honey, that's for sure. 194 00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:57,661 - Mac, are you feeling as good as I am? - Heh. 195 00:11:57,838 --> 00:12:03,276 Well, let me try to explain what I'm feeling, Quon Le. You see, um, marriage is like... 196 00:12:03,444 --> 00:12:04,638 Sports metaphor. 197 00:12:04,812 --> 00:12:06,211 - The giant slalom. 198 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,472 Told you. 199 00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:13,280 The wedding day is the starting gate, and the rest is 90 miles an hour downhill. 200 00:12:13,454 --> 00:12:14,819 You understand? 201 00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:19,548 We're going to Lake Placid for our honeymoon? 202 00:12:20,027 --> 00:12:23,121 - No, no, that's not exactly what l... - Oh, boy, snow. 203 00:12:23,297 --> 00:12:25,026 I've never seen snow. 204 00:12:25,199 --> 00:12:29,101 It's wet, and it's dirty, and little children eat it for fun. 205 00:12:30,571 --> 00:12:32,061 Oh. 206 00:12:33,407 --> 00:12:37,776 - Mac, perhaps if you got to the point. - What point, Mac? 207 00:12:40,181 --> 00:12:41,910 Quon Le... 208 00:12:43,784 --> 00:12:48,221 - Quon Le, we're not going to Lake Placid. - Oh, that's okay, Mac. 209 00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,323 How about Kansas? 210 00:12:50,991 --> 00:12:55,087 Too crowded now. It's the high season. 211 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,595 Quon Le... 212 00:12:57,765 --> 00:13:01,030 Hey, hey, I got a great idea. What say we all go out after work... 213 00:13:01,202 --> 00:13:04,035 ...have some beer, sandwiches, and celebrate... 214 00:13:04,205 --> 00:13:07,470 ...and then me and you can come back here and file for divorce? 215 00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:14,106 - Divorce? You've been married 10 minutes. - Nothing lasts forever. 216 00:13:14,482 --> 00:13:16,780 Mac, why you say this to me now? 217 00:13:16,951 --> 00:13:20,682 Quon Le, now, you know I only married you so you could stay in this country. 218 00:13:20,855 --> 00:13:21,879 - You did? - Sure. 219 00:13:22,056 --> 00:13:25,253 It'll take about a week to file your papers, and then you'll be safe. 220 00:13:25,426 --> 00:13:28,725 We get a divorce, and lmmigration is none the wiser. 221 00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:31,262 Mac, there is a judge in this room. 222 00:13:31,432 --> 00:13:33,992 Oh, you're blind, sir. You can't swear that it's me. 223 00:13:36,003 --> 00:13:38,164 By golly, you're right. 224 00:13:38,606 --> 00:13:41,234 Mac, didn't you tell her why you were marrying her? 225 00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:44,275 - Well... - There really wasn't much time to tell her. 226 00:13:44,445 --> 00:13:45,469 Well, no... 227 00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:49,104 Time? How much time do you need to tell somebody why you're marrying them? 228 00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:50,978 - You need... - It's not that simple. 229 00:13:51,152 --> 00:13:53,882 I mean, there was something else pretty important at stake. 230 00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:55,817 - Yes. Yes, it... - Oh, yeah? 231 00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:58,720 Well, what's more important than a broken heart? 232 00:14:00,227 --> 00:14:02,195 Well, tell her. 233 00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:04,520 You don't love me. 234 00:14:05,099 --> 00:14:07,966 Well, not in the sense of matrimony-type love, no. 235 00:14:08,135 --> 00:14:11,161 But I loved you enough as a human being that I wanted to help. 236 00:14:11,338 --> 00:14:13,465 So that is the only reason you married me? 237 00:14:13,641 --> 00:14:15,370 Because I am a human being? 238 00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:19,741 I had a couple of husbands who didn't meet that standard. 239 00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:22,382 It was the only way I could keep you in this country. 240 00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:25,383 If that's all it was, I'd rather have gone back. 241 00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:30,183 Yoo-hoo. 242 00:14:31,425 --> 00:14:33,052 Gotcha. 243 00:14:33,494 --> 00:14:36,520 These candid shots are great for weddings. 244 00:14:36,697 --> 00:14:38,187 You violated me. 245 00:14:38,365 --> 00:14:41,459 - I what? - Hold that pose. 246 00:14:43,037 --> 00:14:45,870 Marriage is something that is sacred to me and my people. 247 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,975 It is not permitted to play with someone's heart in this way. 248 00:14:49,143 --> 00:14:50,838 Could you two get a little closer? 249 00:14:51,011 --> 00:14:54,708 - Hey, I didn't play with anybody's heart. Perfect. 250 00:14:55,082 --> 00:14:58,574 Bull, this is really not the time to be... 251 00:14:58,752 --> 00:15:00,686 I felt that. 252 00:15:01,121 --> 00:15:03,419 - Look, look, we'll figure something out. - No. 253 00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:05,923 There is only one way out. 254 00:15:06,093 --> 00:15:10,052 As is the ancient custom of the one who has been dishonored... 255 00:15:10,231 --> 00:15:13,667 ...I will starve myself to death. 256 00:15:14,101 --> 00:15:16,831 I'd better go cancel that cake, then. 257 00:15:17,872 --> 00:15:21,899 - Now, Quon Le, starving yourself is... - Leave me alone, you... 258 00:15:22,076 --> 00:15:25,876 You lying heartbreaker, you. 259 00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,645 Quon Le, wait. 260 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,683 Oh, boy, I feel so sorry for her. 261 00:15:34,855 --> 00:15:38,382 Yeah. They both must be pretty torn up inside. 262 00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:41,654 It's not easy, I can tell you that. 263 00:15:42,696 --> 00:15:45,995 I know. I've been there myself. 264 00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:50,331 You were married? 265 00:15:50,671 --> 00:15:52,468 Same sort of thing. 266 00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:53,832 Just briefly. 267 00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:55,908 Dan, I never knew that about you. 268 00:15:57,077 --> 00:15:58,476 Yeah. 269 00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:02,407 It was a gambling cruise to the Bahamas. 270 00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:04,346 Her name was Kimberly... 271 00:16:04,518 --> 00:16:06,110 ...something. 272 00:16:08,188 --> 00:16:10,884 I gave the cabin steward 10 bucks to marry us, and she fell for it. 273 00:16:15,029 --> 00:16:17,293 But it still hurts. 274 00:16:20,768 --> 00:16:22,429 Quon Le? 275 00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:28,235 Quon Le? 276 00:16:37,184 --> 00:16:40,585 You, uh, working up an appetite? 277 00:16:40,754 --> 00:16:43,723 Go away. I am making peace with myself. 278 00:16:43,891 --> 00:16:45,791 - You wanna do it over dinner? - No. 279 00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:50,461 There is nothing for you to do but wait for me to die of starvation. 280 00:16:50,631 --> 00:16:53,759 Oh, Quon Le, please, look at me. 281 00:16:57,237 --> 00:17:01,503 I thought you understood that the whole marriage was just a subterfuge. 282 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:05,008 - What is that? - Well, it means a kind of an evasion. 283 00:17:05,179 --> 00:17:07,511 No, that. 284 00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:10,681 Oooh. 285 00:17:11,151 --> 00:17:13,244 Sleighbough, would you get out of here? 286 00:17:13,787 --> 00:17:17,689 How do you know it's Sleighbough? 287 00:17:17,858 --> 00:17:21,123 All the other invisible guys went home. 288 00:17:22,629 --> 00:17:23,721 Oh, really? 289 00:17:23,897 --> 00:17:26,525 Yeah. Now come on. You're going back with the nice guard... 290 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:30,261 ...and wait for the ambulance. - Uh... You gotta catch me first. 291 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,840 - That was a lucky grab. Yeah. 292 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:38,911 Hey, guards? Guards, here, get him. 293 00:17:39,079 --> 00:17:40,512 Oooh. 294 00:17:40,681 --> 00:17:42,148 Now, Quon Le... 295 00:17:42,316 --> 00:17:46,446 Quon Le, now, wait a minute. This is crazy. Now, you can't keep running away. 296 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:49,680 I'm sorry if you thought the wedding meant more than it did. 297 00:17:49,857 --> 00:17:51,381 You should have told me. 298 00:17:51,558 --> 00:17:55,221 - Well, I thought you understood. - I thought you understood. 299 00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,365 Understood what? 300 00:18:01,168 --> 00:18:04,069 When I was a young girl in Vietnam... 301 00:18:04,238 --> 00:18:07,002 ...you were the only man I had to look up to. 302 00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:13,738 - Well, what were you, 10, 12? - Something like that. 303 00:18:14,048 --> 00:18:17,279 But even then, I knew you were special. 304 00:18:17,451 --> 00:18:20,420 Oh. All I did was help your family out a little. 305 00:18:20,587 --> 00:18:26,287 Yes, and you were helpful. And kind. And fun. And compassionate. 306 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,986 - And I fell in love with you. - Heh-heh-heh. 307 00:18:30,597 --> 00:18:32,497 You did what? 308 00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:37,727 Of course, when a man like you comes into a girl's life... 309 00:18:37,905 --> 00:18:40,669 ...it's only natural to fall in love. 310 00:18:42,109 --> 00:18:43,838 Isn't it? 311 00:18:45,479 --> 00:18:47,447 Mac? - He's over here. 312 00:18:47,614 --> 00:18:50,811 Mac? Good news. I talked to a friend at lmmigration. 313 00:18:50,984 --> 00:18:53,851 He said you can get your marriage annulled no problem. 314 00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:57,314 Say, that is great news. 315 00:18:57,491 --> 00:19:02,258 Quon Le, annulment means that the marriage never existed... 316 00:19:02,429 --> 00:19:06,092 ...you were not dishonored, and you don't have to starve yourself. 317 00:19:06,867 --> 00:19:09,131 I'm sorry, guys, it's the best we could do. 318 00:19:09,903 --> 00:19:13,066 This means I have to go back, doesn't it? 319 00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:15,238 Yeah. 320 00:19:16,477 --> 00:19:18,035 Well... 321 00:19:18,378 --> 00:19:19,811 ...not necessarily. 322 00:19:23,717 --> 00:19:27,050 Oh. If you, uh... 323 00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:29,655 If you wanna stay married. Heh. 324 00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:33,122 I cannot be married with someone who does not love me. 325 00:19:33,293 --> 00:19:37,195 You can't go back. The new regime will peg you as a spy. 326 00:19:37,364 --> 00:19:41,300 They'll haul you in and take your fingerprints and maybe even your fingers. 327 00:19:41,468 --> 00:19:45,234 He missed romantic by that much. 328 00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:49,371 - Still, you don't want me. - I never said that. 329 00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:52,239 - But you said... - I don't know you. 330 00:19:52,412 --> 00:19:54,880 I mean, I know who you are, but not what you are. 331 00:19:55,349 --> 00:19:57,044 I didn't know you were a vegetarian. 332 00:19:57,818 --> 00:20:02,118 I don't know what your favorite color is, or if the bottom of your feet are ticklish. 333 00:20:02,289 --> 00:20:04,120 Mine are. 334 00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:08,194 I didn't know what you thought of me until a couple minutes ago. 335 00:20:10,864 --> 00:20:15,096 But, for whatever it's worth... 336 00:20:15,269 --> 00:20:17,260 ...I would like to know you. 337 00:20:18,805 --> 00:20:21,672 You mean, if we stay married, there's a chance...? 338 00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:24,572 We can go out for dinner, yeah. 339 00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:28,815 - And then? - Well, who knows? 340 00:20:29,183 --> 00:20:31,083 But knowing someone has to come first. 341 00:20:31,251 --> 00:20:33,116 Until then... 342 00:20:33,687 --> 00:20:36,019 ...love can't even start to happen. 343 00:20:37,791 --> 00:20:39,884 I will take that chance. 344 00:20:40,928 --> 00:20:44,523 But, now, if it doesn't work out... 345 00:20:44,698 --> 00:20:47,667 ...I don't want you to starve yourself to death, you understand? 346 00:20:48,068 --> 00:20:52,767 Yeah, well, I kind of exaggerated that part a little. 347 00:20:55,442 --> 00:20:57,808 Starving is not a custom, is it? 348 00:20:59,079 --> 00:21:03,015 When I get dishonored, I eat like a pig. 349 00:21:12,859 --> 00:21:15,384 Cheers. Cheers. 350 00:21:15,862 --> 00:21:19,559 - Thanks for the reception, Your Honor. - Oh, it's my pleasure. 351 00:21:19,733 --> 00:21:21,928 So now that you're married, what are your plans? 352 00:21:22,102 --> 00:21:25,196 Well, we're going to lunch together next Friday. 353 00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:27,774 Going Dutch. 354 00:21:28,675 --> 00:21:31,872 Well, isn't that detached? 355 00:21:32,045 --> 00:21:35,014 Well, you know what they say: "Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder." 356 00:21:35,182 --> 00:21:38,379 Ha-ha-ha. That didn't hurt. 357 00:21:38,552 --> 00:21:40,383 That did. 358 00:21:40,754 --> 00:21:42,619 Guys, I got good news. 359 00:21:42,789 --> 00:21:45,690 My eyes are starting to focus... 360 00:21:45,859 --> 00:21:49,124 ...and I can see again. 361 00:21:51,865 --> 00:21:52,889 Gotcha. 362 00:21:53,867 --> 00:21:55,960 Yeah, you did. 363 00:21:56,136 --> 00:21:59,469 Oh, my goodness. I'm late for my job at the vegetable mart. 364 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,938 Oh, and I gotta get to the bowling tournament. 365 00:22:02,109 --> 00:22:04,043 We're having quarter finals tonight. 366 00:22:04,645 --> 00:22:07,978 Kind of tugs at your heartstrings, doesn't it? 367 00:22:08,148 --> 00:22:10,378 Well, goodbye, everybody. 368 00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:12,381 So long. Bye. 369 00:22:15,322 --> 00:22:18,450 I'll, uh, see you around. 370 00:22:19,226 --> 00:22:20,318 See you, Mac. 371 00:22:20,494 --> 00:22:23,156 - Thanks. - Oh, sure. 372 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:28,233 Come on, I'll walk you towards the subway. 373 00:22:38,445 --> 00:22:40,538 Yeah, Judge Stone. 374 00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:44,548 Oh, yes, I certainly remember you, Mr. Sleighbough, yes. 375 00:22:44,718 --> 00:22:46,982 Huh? No, I don't think... What? 376 00:22:47,287 --> 00:22:49,755 Sleighbough, where are you calling from? 377 00:22:50,891 --> 00:22:52,756 Come on, gang, he's on the loose again. 378 00:22:52,926 --> 00:22:54,655 Psychiatric didn't come to claim him? 379 00:22:54,828 --> 00:22:59,458 Apparently not. He said he finally realized why we were able to see him before. 380 00:22:59,633 --> 00:23:01,658 - Oh. Why? - Because... 381 00:23:02,736 --> 00:23:05,296 ...he had clothes on. 382 00:23:09,343 --> 00:23:11,641 Quick impression: Claude Rains standing. 383 00:23:11,812 --> 00:23:13,609 No.